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Massage is a wonderful way to relieve tension, relax the muscles, and benefit the systems of the body with increased circulation. It can also build sexual excitement. You can massage much of your own body, or you can share massage as a lovely way of connecting with your partner.

How are Erotic Massage and Regular Massage Different?
Erotic massage is different from regular massage. Regular massage seeks to relax, while erotic massage ultimately seeks to arouse. 


Whichever partner is receiving the massage must be warm and their body comfortably supported.  

Have your favorite massage oil warmed to body temperature. 


When giving a massage, alternate working on specific areas with long, unifying strokes.  

Always ask for, and give, feedback. The person being massaged must tell their partner what they need.

Erotic Massage
The way to begin erotic massage is with regular massage, because we’re more receptive to erotic stimulation when we’re relaxed. Give your partner a whole body massage.

The erotic phase of the massage then builds in stages, starting with light touches to the erogenous zones and gradually focusing on the genitals and breasts - or where ever the receiving party specifies as erotic. 

Genital Massage
Work slowly into the deep muscles of the genitals with a gentle but firm touch, starting with a light touch and gradually increasing pressure. 

In women, these deep muscles are in the perineum, the vaginal canal, and the pelvic floor muscles that you can reach under the labia, the vulva surrounding the labia, and the mons. 

In men, these deep muscles are in the perineum, under the testes, penis, and surrounding areas, and the mons. 

For both women and men, the perineum is a good place to start these deep strokes. 

Women: place the thumbs on the perineum and firmly stroke up the folds of the vulva, gradually working from the labia majora towards the clitoris, relaxing the deep support muscles. When the genitals are relaxed, gradually build erotic stimulation with light strokes to your partner's erogenous zones.

Relaxing Vulva Massage 
Gently massage the full body to encourage the receiver to relax and prepare for touching her vulva. Pour a small quantity of oil or lubricant on the mound of the vulva. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the vulva. Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage.

Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the vulva. Take your time. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased.

Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to stimulate orgasm. The receiver may become aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe.

Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your hand into the vaginal canal. Very gently explore and massage inside with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the vagina. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot . She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky.

You can use your other hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris try using the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound.

In ending the massage, slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands.

Men: place the thumbs on the perineum and stroke around the testicles and the base of the penis, firmly working in towards the deep support muscles.

The more you practice massage, the more adept and attuned you become. I strongly recommend investing in a class on massage technique or purchasing a good book on massage to start off. There is so much to learn. Eventually, your own creativity will take over.


The Massage Book by George Downing

Illustrated by Anne Kent Rush

This book is very clear and accessible. It teaches basic massage beautifully, and has an excellent section on massage for lovers.


Getting Clear: Bodywork for Women

Anne Kent Rush

A book of bodywork for women, the sections on massage techniques include reflexology, Swedish, bioenergetics and more.  

Photos: Top Wikipedia Commons
Bottom: www.kozzi.com
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